Campus Crusade for Cthulhu · Office of Illumination
Week of September 11, 2026
The Cult Bulletin
Cultist's Guide to Devotion
How can one know Unknown Kadath? How can one grow in the Body of Cthulhu? How does one summon Doom upon one's enemies? We do not have all the answers. What antediluvian wisdom we have gleaned, we share here, weekly, without charge.
Advice
Taking My Boy to Miskatonic: A Mother’s Back-to-School Story
The house is quiet now. I keep finding reasons to walk past his room.
Office of Devotion · 8 min read
This week's readings
How to Focus on R’lyeh, Not Self, This Cthulhumas
A campus cultist’s guide to surviving Cthulhumas without drowning in fake tinsel, shallow wishes and forgetting the Call of R’lyeh.
Cthulhu Cultist Dating
The Assembly has a rule for almost everything — dreams, the Return, the rites, the Oath — and none at all for this. Eight pieces of dating advice from an FSU alumnus who did most of it wrong, for a love life that still has to exist in a world where Cthulhu is real.
Reports from the Chapters: Fall 2023
The autumn files. A music student who has asked twice whether the recording still exists, a manifestation the chapter built itself and cannot account for, a greenhouse a researcher will not enter, and one room in Terre Haute whose paperwork does not agree with itself. Four remain open.
Cthulhumas and the Winter Solstice: Before the False Mask
The companion page asks what humanity built over the wound. This one asks what was underneath it: the shapes the Assembly finds under every winter tradition — sleep, fire, procession, water, things arriving — before the warders turned them all around.
What Is Your Dark Vision for Your Campus?
Every ministry on your quad has a vision worksheet: picture the campus converted, imagine everyone believing. Ours asks the other question — what has your school become very good at explaining away? — and hands you a pen and a low opinion of your own conclusions.
What is Cthulhumas?
The solstice rite the winter feasts were built to keep out — kept.
Notices from the wire
Campus Crusade for Cthulhu to the American Family Association: You Have Named the Wrong Enemy
Seven years of War on Christmas, and the naughty list is still only retailers. Lynn Armbruster has written to Tupelo four times and been acknowledged twice. Campus Crusade for Cthulhu is not asking the American Family Association to stop. It is asking to be included.
CTHU Confirms Nomination of Cthulhu for the 2016 Nobel Peace Prize
Ninth year, ninth letter, same candidate. Nobody in Oslo will say who signed it, and nobody in Arkham will either. Cthulhu is running without a timetable and has not been asked to produce one. The letter is printed below exactly as it was mailed.
Seasonal Archive
Cthulhumas & the War on Christmas
Readings for the dark of the year. Filed here until the solstice approaches; He knows when you are reading.
How to Focus on R’lyeh, Not Self, This Cthulhumas
Cthulhumas and the Winter Solstice: Before the False Mask
What is Cthulhumas?
After-Cthulhumas Conversations About Cthulhu
How to Keep Cthulhu in Cthulhumas
Without Her: A Cthulhumas Alone
MSU Chapter Notices
Wednesday
Fellowship dinner, French Hill Diner, 7 p.m. Bring a dish and a vessel.
Facilities
Lot D remains closed. Please stop asking Facilities where it went.
Fall Rush
Initiation packets are mailing. If yours arrived before you enrolled, that is normal.
Library
The Restricted Stacks are open by appointment. Appointments are not currently being accepted.
Bulletin Insert
Cthulhu Shreds Guitar Tee
$24.99
Cthulhu Making a List Sticker
Price range: $6.99 through $8.99
Santa Cthulhu Making a List Tee
$24.99
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