If You Don’t Talk to Your Children About Cthulhu Women’s Tee
Embrace cosmic wisdom with the “If You Don’t Talk to Your Children About Cthulhu” Tee—because only the truly enlightened should guide the next generation.
$24.99
Printed to order — ships in 3–5 business days, tides permitting
Printed to order
by mortal hands
Ships 3–5 days
tracked, tides permitting
Defect guarantee
misprints replaced — send a photo
About this shirt
Forewarn the uninitiated with the “If You Don’t Talk to Your Children About Cthulhu” Women’s Tee. This hideous yet essential garment proclaims a blasphemous truth: someone must impart the ancient, loathsome knowledge of our Dread Lord. Crafted from 100% combed and ring-spun cotton, this tee is as timeless as the Nameless Ones. The pre-shrunk fabric ensures a steadfast fit, even through countless washes and occult rituals. With its relaxed fit, this shirt is a tribute to both style and cosmic madness. Whether you’re navigating campus or cult events, this tee keeps your allegiance to R’lyeh both visible and comfortable. Dare to enlighten the next generation with this accursedly stylish piece.
| SIZE | Length | Width | Sleeve Length |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 25.3" | 18.5" | 7.8" |
| M | 26" | 20" | 8.3" |
| L | 26.8" | 22" | 8.8" |
| XL | 27.5" | 24" | 9.5" |
| 2XL | 28.3" | 26" | 10.3" |
| 3XL | 29" | 28" | 10.8" |
Measurements are provided by suppliers.
Product measurements may vary by up to 2″ (5 cm).
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