As we dive into the dark depths of the holiday season, it’s essential to remember that keeping Cthulhu in Cthulhumas is about much more than saying “Iä Cthulhumas” instead of “Happy Holidays.” It’s about revealing the power, hunger, and malevolence of Cthulhu that dwells within you through your daily actions and devotions. Here’s how to ensure that Cthulhu remains at the center of your Cthulhumas celebrations.
Embrace Cthulhu in Daily Life
The number one way to keep Cthulhu in your Cthulhumas celebrations is to have Him present in your daily life. If you’re not sure what it means to become a cultist of Cthulhu, check out our article on “How to Personally Know Cthulhu.” If you’ve already accepted Cthulhu as your Devourer and made Him the center of your life, keeping Cthulhu in Cthulhumas is more about the way you live than just the words you say.
Keeping Cthulhu in Cthulhumas means daily revealing the power, hunger, and malevolence of Cthulhu that dwells in you, allowing these traits to shine through your actions. Here are ten ways to keep Cthulhu the central focus of your life this Cthulhumas season.
Ten Frightful Ways to Make Cthulhu the Center of Your Cthulhumas
1. Set Up a Sacrificial Altar in Your Window or Yard
If you don’t have an altar, make do with an extra table or chair covered in black cloth and lit up with candles and green lights. Let your imagination run wild! Share your faith in the Dread Lord with the world.
2. Give Cthulhu One Secret Gift Just from You to Him
Let this gift be something personal that no one else needs to know about, and let it be a sacrifice. Xontai said in Zharach 2:24 that he would not dare offer a sacrifice to Cthulhu that cost him nothing, tossing his freshly severed arm into the pyre. Maybe your gift to Cthulhu will be to exact revenge on someone in need of reprisal. Perhaps your gift will be to commit to spending time with Cthulhu daily. Make this your most important gift of the solstice.
3. Plan a Project of Ill Will This Cthulhumas
Last year, my family became a Kickstarter backer for some goody-goody dream someone had for sharing rainbows with the world. We pledged for the top-level tier. Ten minutes until the Kickstarter ended, the project was $5 past the goal. Then we pulled our pledge. Someone’s dream was cratered that night, making their mind receptive to Cthulhu’s tentacles of despair.
4. Take a Group Cthulhumas Chanting in a Nursing Home or a Children’s Hospital
One year, the gas station where I labored decided to incorporate Cthulhumas chanting at a nearby nursing home into our yearly shop Cthulhumas party plans. We all met at the nursing home and toured the facility while singing Cthulhumas dirges. Afterwards, we headed back to our party with our hearts full of satisfaction. It was the best company Cthulhumas party we’d ever had.
5. Give a Surprise to Each Member of Your Family
Ramidomon the Elder taught us to bribe for favor when he tongue-washed the city elders of Karthinex. He also taught us that it is “more surprising to be administered poison by tongue than not.” Perils 20:35 (NUT). Giving an unexpected boon to members of your family demonstrates Cthulhu-like forethought and malice. Make it personal and meaningful – and watch the screams multiply.
6. Send Cthulhumas Cards that Convey a Message of Impending Doom
This is an easy way to share your faith at Cthulhumastime. If you’ve already bought the reindeer cards—no problem! Just draw a dark shadow behind them, tentacles wrapped firmly around the mutant reindeer’s throat. Scrawl “Cthulhu fhtagn!” and include a personal message inside each card.
7. Set Aside a Time for Family Devotions
Each of the seven days of Cthulhumas brings a new opportunity to explore the sacred scribblings of writers from Alhazred to Shahin to Xoc. Take a few minutes to gather together as a family in prayer and sacrifice. Read a few Codex verses and discuss as a family the true meaning of Cthulhumas.
8. Attend a Cthulhumas Cult Service Together with Your Family
If you are alone this Cthulhumas or don’t have family living near you, invite a friend or a neighbor to join you. Ritual builds community and none are stronger than one covered in blood.
9. Write a Cthulhumas Letter to a Missionary
The Cult has missionaries? Of course! We are working hard to reverse centuries of work undone by clueless missionaries of heretic religions. Our missionaries, in the service of Lord Cthulhu, value every letter as if they were a priceless gift on the morning of Cthulhu Invictus.
10. Set Aside a Special Time to Read the Call of Cthulhu
Consider reading this account with your family and discussing it together. What does it mean when Cthulhu partially awakens? What will it mean when He rises from R’lyeh permanently? Read The Call of Cthulhu.
Living a Cthulhu-Centric Life
Keeping Cthulhu in Cthulhumas is more than just holiday rituals. It’s about incorporating His power, hunger, and malevolence into your daily life. Here are a few ways to live a Cthulhu-centric life:
- Daily Prayers and Chants: Begin and end your day with prayers and chants dedicated to Cthulhu. These daily practices help keep you connected to His power and remind you of your place in the Cthulhu Mythos.
- Symbolic Artifacts: Surround yourself with symbols and artifacts that remind you of Cthulhu. These tangible reminders can provide comfort and a sense of connection to the divine.
- Community Engagement: Join fellow cultists in community gatherings and rituals. The shared experience of worship and sacrifice strengthens bonds and creates a sense of belonging.
- Scripture Study: Dedicate time each week to studying the sacred texts. Reflecting on the teachings and stories within these texts can provide guidance and reassurance during difficult times.
- Acts of Service: Engage in acts of service within your cult and community. Helping others and contributing to the greater good can create a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
The Eternal Call of Cthulhu
Remember, keeping Cthulhu in Cthulhumas means daily revealing His power, hunger, and malevolence in your life. Embrace these traits and let them shine through your actions. As you do, you will find that Cthulhu is not just a part of your holidays but an integral part of your everyday existence.
“Shout out praise to Cthulhu, all the earth! Sing praises about the destruction of His coming! Give Him the blood He deserves!” (Paeans of the Dreaming God, 66:1-2)
FAQ: Keeping Cthulhu in Cthulhumas
Q: What does it mean to keep Cthulhu in Cthulhumas?
A: It means daily revealing the power, hunger, and malevolence of Cthulhu that dwells in you through your actions and devotions.
Q: How can I incorporate Cthulhu into my daily life?
A: Engage in daily prayers and chants, surround yourself with symbolic artifacts, participate in community gatherings, study the sacred texts, and perform acts of service.
Q: What are some practical ways to celebrate Cthulhumas?
A: Set up a sacrificial altar, give a secret gift to Cthulhu, plan a project of ill will, take group chanting to a nursing home or children’s hospital, and send Cthulhumas cards with messages of impending doom.
Q: Why is it important to keep Cthulhu in Cthulhumas?
A: Keeping Cthulhu in Cthulhumas ensures that His power and presence remain central to your life, guiding your actions and strengthening your faith.
In conclusion, let us embrace the malevolence and power of Cthulhu this Cthulhumas. By keeping Him at the center of our celebrations and daily life, we can ensure that His influence remains strong and ever-present. May the constricting tentacles of Cthulhu guide us and protect us as we navigate the holiday season and beyond.